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How To Survive The End Of The World

How To Survive The End Of The World

Twenty minutes to go. Date night is never as nice as it sounds. It seems to be a lovely lil night full of roses and sharing spaghetti and midnight walks, but in reality it’s a good three hours worth of stress getting ready, a cheeky Nandos, then Netflix ‘n’ chill depending on the quality of your chosen date. But maybe, just maybe, this boy could be different? Leos’ had his lil sexy blue eyes on you for awhile now, and you totally played hard to get but gave into the offer of some halloumi. He’s pretty hot, okay, mega hot. Definitely a strong sexy on the hotness scale. But even better, you gel. He feels like he could actually be the peanut butter to your jelly, or the lips to your gloss, but this date will confirm all.

 

 
 You purposely took a half day at work to prep for this. Acrylic infills completed, bath and exfoliation done, makeup on fleek, and all that’s left to do is the lashes. The finisher, the last little step to complete the look that will make Leos’ jaw drop to the floor. You bought lashes so big that they’re going to be tickling his face over your butterfly chicken. But, where the fuck are they?
 
 A quick span around and there is definitely no big ass lashes about. They aren’t something you could miss, and with time ticking, this is not what you need right now. You need them lashes, and without them, the date is as good as cancelled. What will Leo think if he saw your own 1cm lashes, he might run in the opposite direction, or even worse, he might refuse to buy you two sides and you need that peri chips and mash combo.

 
 
 This might actually be the end of the world. Why now. Why ever. You need a plan right now before you go into cardiac arrest. What have you done to deserve this?! CODE RED. Commence ‘Mission Find Lashes’. We can do this, it’s bliddy 2018 now for crying out loud, we can survive.
 
 
  • Re check the dressing table. There is a 0.1 chance out of 100 that you turned blind for the first 20 times you looked there.
  • Okay, not there. Keep breathing, they’re here somewhere. Maybe they’re elsewhere? Leo is coming in t-minus 10 minutes and it takes a good 6 minutes for you to apply them so I suggest a lap of the house is crucial right now.
  • Wow, okay. Step three, shit they really are missing. Maybe you could go without? Would he actually be that bothered? NO! Fuck that! Snap out of it, you need those bliddy lashes and you will find them. Go into super sonic mode and destroy every bit of tidiness in your house to find them.

The world has officially ended. Leo has texted saying he’ll be 5 minutes and there’s still no sign. Just sit back at your dressing table, and stare into the abyss of your world crumbling around you. Mourn the you that you would have been tonight. This bitch ain’t having no peri chips and mash and definitely no Netflix ‘n’ chill. You will have to settle for a plain wrap and offer to pay for some chips. You can’t start that series you were going to pretend you really wanted to watch.
 
 

WAIT. Babe. What’s that hiding under your brow kit?

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